EXTRA: Crapic Times

Jonny Smith here folks,
Today's Extra: Critique of the Nordic Times

                Opening Theme: Mr. Crowley - by Ozzie Osbourne

Please note that the opinions that follow do not by any means represent the opinions of all of the Northglenn Morning Show writer's opinions. The opinions that are shown are purely those of Mr. John Smith, the British ex-taxi driver, who gave up driving for a career in reporting.

The picture of Norman showing off his anti-"Wet Blanket"-ness which appeared on pg 2

     
           "No one likes a wet blanket," was the line that appeared in the August 22, 2011, Volume XLV Edition 1 of the Nordic Tmes, but what kind of line is that? It sounds more like a sexual inuendo, than a line motivating school spirit. Though as a reporter myself I repect these writers, I find their language completely and utterly unsuited for their audiance, which just so happens to be the main goal of a reporter, no offense.

Musical picture incorrectly labeled "Fall Play"

        On page three of course we see the number one thing everyone knows about the people who write the school newspaper, they know nothing of Drama, and what might it be? A picture from last year's musical "Annie" This goes to show that the newspaper has once again attempted to fool the school into believing that sports are the high point of this high school when in fact it is well known fact that many of the sports teams our school has, have lost numerous times over the past few years. Therefore let us just say that such focal points such as our Winter Percussion or our Drama Club which are arguably the best in the whole district.
         Now for the next thing I found wrong in the newspaper... let us begin by asking a question, if you were say.... the principal of a high school with hundreds of parents trusting their students to you, why would you let your own newspaper put out a picture of you in that made you look like you're going to beat their child? 

Lindimore yelling at some poor
Students.

The picture to the left, is the one that was included in this issue of the newspaper (truly evidence of the school's need for some decent photo editing software). The woman looks like shes ready to beat the snuff out of a student, which... from a legal stand point doesn't look good, no matter how you put it. This of course is also not to mention that the picture is highly unflattering.
        Lets sum up what we have learned from the newspaper so far: School spirit and sexual innuendos are the same thing, no one took enough time here to find a picture of a fall play AND Dr. Lindimore is going to "take out" every kid who swears in front of her.

          Now to the man who is possibly the only one not afraid to show his true beliefs on the school, a man who (as a viking) probably swears like a sailor whether he's in front of Dr. Lindimore or not, Norman the Norse. Now the funny thing in this picture is the how bad it makes the NHS security look. the last sentence regarding the wearing of an ID says "he's no match for NHS tight security, unless they're not looking. Okay, somebody tell me how "Tight security" can be more than a match for a rippling  "not looking," or how they might not notice a muscle bound viking in full armor carrying a bloody battle axe.


       And on the left we have evidence from page 6 that there is nothing you can do on the weekends, but draw a picture.

All Northglenn students MUST love
these things.

       OVER ALL, the school newspaper is considerably better than other school newspapers like Legacy's. I give this school newspaper...















NEWSPAPER RATING:
8.5 / 10 Waffles




                  ~Jonny Smith