Lisa: ...And just so you people know-Yes he is the same person who sang the "Elements" Song. Welcome To the NORTHGLENN MORNING SHOW Today we join Doctor Bessner in his clinic as he operates! Please Welcome your hosts the Bear, the Black, and the Bessner.
Black: *not really paying attention* Thank you Lisa.
Bear: Today's news is that...
Patient: AHHHHHH!
Bessner: Nurse, give me a Scapel!
Bear: .... um... as I was saying, wild fires have been...
Patient: AH! My SPLEEN!
Black: ...Is that patient tied down!?
Bessner: God no!
Black: Okay Good I was just....
Bessner: He is strapped down! Tying patients down is for amateurs-we've even added these metal arm bands to make sure he doesn't get away.
Black: I feel like I should be appalled by this... but for some reason I'm not.
Bear: *Passes Honey to The Black* Here... you'll need it. As I was saying recently back in my home in the Rocky's, there have been some insane wildfires.
Black: Yeah I heard about that didn't it turn out that the Forest Service was behind it all?
Bear: It started out as a "Controlled Burn" which got out of hand and ended up creating some casualties.
Black: I don't mean to change the subject but... it appears that we're about to witness a casualty.
Bessner: Perfectly okay...
Black: That I changed the subject?
Bessner: No, that he dies-we have the technology-we can rebuild him
Nurse: We can make him faster...
Bessner: Stronger.... Say, Nurse how would you like to see how a truly German man spends his night?
Nurse: Mmm... Ja voll!
Patient: HELLO!? People I'm still here-for that matter should I really be awake right now!?
Bessner: No... but I CAN give you a sedative. *Prepares needle*
Patient: Wait... you know I just changed my mind!
Bessner: Oh? Are you sure you wouldn't like to be put under? I have something here guaranteed to knock you out....
Patient: I think I'll be o.... oh god I can see my stomach! Ew... that hamburger looks less delicious now...
Bessner: I'll take that as a definite yes on the injection! I SHALL GIVE HIM AN INJECTION!
Black: ...He REALLY gets into his injections.
Bear: Give me the honey... Moving on.... Everybody has heard of this new food mix-mash but is it really that good? The new Taco Bell Locos Doritos Taco, We're bringing in John Smith as he is one of the people here on the show who has tried this combination.
Smith: Thank you Bear.
Bear: So what did you think?
Smith: Well, I found that that is was slightly a disappointment-because when you think of the combination you get this mental image of this pure and utter.... Awesomeness. Then you bite into it and... well its exactly what it is Taco Bell inside of Doritos. Don't get me wrong, it is delicious, and better than the normal Taco Bell taco, just for some reason I expected a lot more. plus the only area where you can really honestly tell a difference is that top of the taco where the filling doesn't reach.
Bear: Thank you smith, would you recommend this to anyone else?
Smith: Yes, Its definitely delicious. I would recommend this to everyone except Henry Ward.
Bear: Why?
Smith: Now that I've said I like it-Henry will probably make it his life's mission to either eat one and completely contradict me or he will immediately decide that since I like it he won't.
Bear: So Dear readers please tell us what you think of these Doritos Tacos in the comments below this post, and we'll review the comments and put some of them in our next Show!
Black: So Bessner What exactly are you doing in this operation?
Bessner: Very good question!
Black: The answer?
Bessner: If I remember right.... Either a brain and heart transplant (or removal)... plastic surgery or....
Nurse: Mummification?
Bessner: RIGHT, If its not one of those then I have no idea.
Black and Bear: Uhh.... *Quietly leaves*
No comments:
Post a Comment