NMS - 4/4/2012

Lisa (Narrator): Gooooood Morning Internet! after a brief sojurn in the Drunk tank and prisons abroad we are back and ready for action! Thats right ladies and Gentlemen Welcome to the Northglenn Morning Show!! Now heres your host, that loveable if but slightly pyschotic bear who is joining us all the way from the Hundred acre woods state pennitantry its Winnie the Pooh!

Pooh: Hello everyone its great to be back, and im not just saying that because if i dont do this than ill be sent back to prison. allow me to introduce my partners in crime and my fellow hosts, Nikki the Black and Dr.William Bessner.

Nikki: Good day to you

Pooh: well ladies and gentlemen we do owe you all a big apologie, you see the reason we havent posted in months is...

Bessner:Wait Pooh, do you: think it would be wise to tell them about...that?

Nikki:Our german friend does have a point mabye we should just move on to a different subject besides were sworn to secrecy by Brown.

Pooh: yeah You guys are right, so moving right along lets take a look at todays news, Bessener?

Bessener:vell...Romney ist blamming Obama the state of the Economy.

Pooh:oh youve got to be kidding

Bessner: no im afraid not, Romney will do anything to get the republican nommination, come to think of it so would Obama if he was in the same situation. Honestly politicians are very horrid.

Nikki: you're telling me, seriously think back to SOPA earlier this year and then the NDAA last year, both of which are clearly infringing on our rights.what do you think pooh?

Pooh: ZZZZZZZZZZZ

Bessener: Pooh?

Pooh:zzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZ

Nikki:POOH!!!!

Pooh:ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Nikki: Oh Come on!

Bessner: try slapping him

(Nikki stands and slaps pooh across the face

Pooh:ZZZZZZZZZZZZZz

Bessner: Mein Gott, (under his breath says) ...looks like I may have given him a little too much chloroform... (In normal voice pretending he did not say that) well while we attempt to wake pooh up from his most definitively non-chloroform induced coma.... (Cough cough) enjoy this special announcement from our Rage Group: THE HENRY REPORT.

Lisa (Narrator): HELLO and welcome to the HENRY report, where we rant about the horrible parts of daily life... however it seems everything eventually just comes back to the British. For our new viewers, HENRY stands for Hydrogenous Evangelical Noobs Raping Yo-yos. 

Henry: Hello, my name is Henry Ward
Smith: I am john Smith!
Henry: ..And we're here to share some discrepancies about a certain feature film that has recently defiled our theaters....Titanic 3D
Smith: What?! but I love titanic 
Henry: I...I never thought id see the day that i would..agree with you dirt bag. 
Smith:then what are you so angry about?

Henry:...Smith i wear Glasses in fact many people wear glasses, do you realize how FUCKING ANNOYING IT IS TO PUT GLASSES OVER YOUR GLASSES? ITS UNCOMFORTABLE IT IRRITATES OUR EYES AND MOST OF ALL THE LAST THREE TIMES IVE GONE TO A MOVIE THEATER THEIRS ALWAYS A GUY WITH (Bleeped out by the editor) AND HIS   (Bleeped out by the editor)  HANGING OUT AND THEN THE GIRL NEXT TO HIM IS SOMEHOW MANAGING TO TALK ON HER PHONE AND SURF THE WEB AT THE SAME TIME EVEN THOUGH THEY MADE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TELLING EVERYONE TO SHUT OFF THEIR GOD-(Bleeped out by the editor)  PHONES AND THEN 

Smith: one sec i got a text ooh and and email!
Henry: ARRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHH!!!!!! COME HERE YOUR SLIMY BRITISH  (Bleeped out by the editor) !!!!!!!!!!!



Pooh: ...And we're back 

Nikki: Henry scares me when he gets that angry! 

Pooh: Just dont ask him about QWOP and youll be fine.