EXTRA: My United States of Cucco

            Reports on the recent Super-Cucco problem have described that in the past few days the Super-Cuccos

have migrated back west, to California. So to see what our feathered friends are up to, our most esteemed Commander in Chief (Austin) has dispatched a single operative, the best of the best-our good old friend: Zant. Zant is currently undercover in California observing the Cuccos, luckily he radioed in for an interview:

Me: How are you doing today, Zant?

Zant: …Did… Did someone say pancakes?

Me: Uh… no…

Zant: …sorry suffering from withdrawal… the cuccos… they are setting up a pancake…

Me: Do you mean…

Zant: DID SOMEONE SAY PANCAKES!?

Me: Yeah, you…

Zant: I knew it!

Me: You were the one who said pan…

Zant: WHY ARE YOU TORMENTING ME! *Sob*

Me: um…. Calm down Zant, now can you tell me what the Cuccos are setting up?

Zant: They’re setting up… (Bleeped out by the editor)* the Cuccos have pancakes!? Those are the biggest (Also bleeped out by the editor)* pancakes I have ever seen…

Well since I was never able to finish my interview with Zant, it was earlier reported that the Cuccos had been setting up a new pancake…. I mean country, in California completely run by Cuccos.

                                                ~Tactical Advisor: Jonny Smith

* Editor’s note: The words that are bleeped out are not actually swears. This newspaper passes all of its text through a stupid cell phone (which rides a motorcycle) which has a tendency to bleep out random words such as “freak” or “wait,” these words are in no way (Bleeped out by the editor) swear.