EXTRA: Cuccos at LARGE and in CHARGE

Recently on Monday March 7th some experimental Cuccos were "lost." At least this was the report our scientists received from our current shipping man Gavin. The Cuccos were known to those involved in their development as "the Super Cucco." Head project manager: Dr. William Bessner. When asked Dr. Bessner said the following about the cuccos:

(We have kept Dr. Bessner's German accent for this article)

Me: Is it true that some 500 "Super Cuccos"were lost in transport from California to here?
Bessner: Das ist stimmt (Translation to English: that is correct) Except zat zer vas alzo zeventy normal cuccoz az vell... und....
Me: And what?
Bessner: Vell... Zer Vas one Cucco in zer zat... had... gotten an injection to make eet more vicious und danzerous zan all ze ozzers.
Me: WHAT!? Where is that (Bleeped out by the Editor) Gavin!? And WHO BLEEPED OUT "STUPID" IN MY INTERVIEW!? AH MAN AND NOW BESSNER STOLE MY STUPID CELL...

After hearing of this event our scientists began tracking the movements of these released Super Cuccos. We have since discovered that the Super Cuccos are right now ravaging the state of California. Our expendable reporter, Link, is there now. Link, over to you.

Link: "HEEEEEYYY HEYYYYYYAAHHH!"
Me: No fairy language, speak english.
Link: Oh sorry, well when I first got here I saw this adorable white chicken thing...
Me: Link, that was a super cucco.
Link: OH, that would explain when I hit it three...
Me: Link... You didn't...
Link: Yeah... I did. I am now huddled under the wreckage of some dude's Mansion... OH CRAP! They're here! SAVE ME!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!

Anywoo, our scientists have made the speculation that the cuccos are heading from the West to the east, it is predicted that in a couple days the Super Cuccos will be in Colorado. It has been reported that all of the west coast has been left in complete and utter ruin.


                                                                                                 ~Article by John "Jonny" Smith