Lisa: WELCOME TO THIS WEEK'S HENRY REPORT (Henry's Rage Quit)! For those of you just now joining us HENRY stands for: Hairy Evasive Norwich Rum Yodelers.
Henry: *Grumbling* ...Stupid AP Calculus Test...
Smith: Oh, yes you had the AP Calculus Test today didn't you? How'd that go?
Henry: Well it'd be like if you took Nam.... threw some south Korea in for flavor, soaked it in wood alcohol, peppered it with arsenic-basting it with Cyanide of course and steamed it with Mustard Gas.
Smith: Sounds...-*Under his breath* ...Like Stanley's breath, ER I mean heavenly! Henry you should have been a cook, have I ever told you that?
Henry: ...And you should have been a mormon!
Crowd in the hallway: AMEN!
Lisa: HEY! Me and my father are Mormon!
Henry: And?
Lisa: That stereotype is not true, that was an old part of our history!
Henry: I'll make you a deal: if you can get this deaf British idiot off my show I'll correct my statement!
Smith: Say what?
Henry: ...Or you can go on a date with me-that's also acceptable payment.
Smith: Henry! I didn't know you'd come out of the closet!
Henry: I'm not gay smith!
Smith: Exactly, you came out of the closet about not being gay!
-the following portion of the show has been cut due to excessive arrows to the knee-
-the previous editor was sacked for excessive skyrim jokes-
-the previous editor was sacked for his excessive use of Monty Python and the Holy grail jokes-
-the manager of the Northglenn Morning Show was sacked for technically being the editor who made the Holy Grail jokes and the Skyrim jokes-
-The excessive writer of this excessive show was excessively sacked for excessively excessive use of the excessively excessive word excessive, a new editor has been chosen-
-Pancakes-
Henry: Today's rage subject is AP tests!
Smith: God, I hate those things!
Henry: Me too!
Bessner: *Walking by* I write those things!
Henry: *AHEM* I shall go first... WHY THE (Bleeped out by the editor) DO THEY HAVE SO MANY (bleeped out by the editor) SAFETY PROTOCOLS ITS NOT LIKE ANYONE IS GOING TO STEAL THE (Bleeped out by the editor) ANSWERS! I MEAN WHO THE (bleeped out by the editor) IS DUMB ENOUGH TO STEAL THEM AND INVALIDATE THEIR TEST!? AND WHO KEEPS BLEEPING OUT EVERY TIME I SAY "WAFFLES"!?
Smith: I know exactly what you mean they're such idiots!
Henry: ...Get Doctor Bessner-I must be coming down with someone if I just agreed with... that man. Hey anyone know where my cell phone went to? I think I left it in the testing center.
Smith: Oh by the way, did you read the text I sent you during the test?
Henry: ...uh... no.
Smith: I got a hold of the answer sheet and texted you all the answers!
Henry: ...
Smith: I'll take that as a "thank you" now let me post them on our website!
(AP Representative barges into studio)
AP Rep: WHICH ONE OF YOU IS HENRY WARD!
Henry: HIM! *Points to the British man*
Smith: What? Henry you're horrible! Especially after I sent you the answers!
AP Rep: Henry Ward? When we saw you got a five on the test we were suspicious-it was you- but when we found your cell phone-our suspicions were confirmed. You're a rotten cheater! Your test is INVALIDATED. Good day!
Henry: Smith... SAY YOUR PRAYERS BOY! IT WON'T DO YOU NO GOOD THOUGH, GOD AIN'T GONNA FORGIVE A SINNER AS BAD AS YOU!
Father Malachi: *popping up* A-MEN! *Grabs Smith*
Smith: Wait no... HENRY NO!!!!!!
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