Extra: Definition of Cucco

EXTRA: Super Cucco Flood Still Coming

We are currently tracking a flock of around 500 Super Cuccos who were accidentally "lost" due to Truck Driver, Gavin Smith's, carelessness. Reports have been flooding us telling us about the state of the State of California.... Well lets just say it was nice knowing the state. Our scientists believe that the Super-Cucco invasion will continue to go West to East. It is believed that The Supper Cuccos will arrive in Northglenn Colorado in the evening of March 10th, if you don't want to become chicken fodder we have contacted our experts on avoiding a feathery death. We have our three experts here, first JOAQUIN, second we have our old Romeo and Juliet Seussified classic: Mercutio and Third we have.... Trent? Who the (Bleeped out by the editor) is Trent!? And who keeps bleeping out words that arn't swears!? All I said was (Bleeped out by the editor)! OH What the!? Oh come on.... anywoo heres our words from our "experts"

Me: So Joaquin I'd like to start with your views on matters.

Joaquin: All you gotta do is DANCE! 

Me: Are you sure you know what you're talking about?

Joaquin: Taser him NOW!

Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ah...  okay maybe we'll start with you Mercutio?

Mercutio: You see this hole I just stuck in the floor? What is it? (this video all three parts should explain this joke)

Me: Um... a hole?

Mercutio: Then get in it!

Trent: for those of you who are reading this.... lets just say... John found his happy place...

EXTRA: Cuccos at LARGE and in CHARGE

Recently on Monday March 7th some experimental Cuccos were "lost." At least this was the report our scientists received from our current shipping man Gavin. The Cuccos were known to those involved in their development as "the Super Cucco." Head project manager: Dr. William Bessner. When asked Dr. Bessner said the following about the cuccos:

(We have kept Dr. Bessner's German accent for this article)

Me: Is it true that some 500 "Super Cuccos"were lost in transport from California to here?
Bessner: Das ist stimmt (Translation to English: that is correct) Except zat zer vas alzo zeventy normal cuccoz az vell... und....
Me: And what?
Bessner: Vell... Zer Vas one Cucco in zer zat... had... gotten an injection to make eet more vicious und danzerous zan all ze ozzers.
Me: WHAT!? Where is that (Bleeped out by the Editor) Gavin!? And WHO BLEEPED OUT "STUPID" IN MY INTERVIEW!? AH MAN AND NOW BESSNER STOLE MY STUPID CELL...

After hearing of this event our scientists began tracking the movements of these released Super Cuccos. We have since discovered that the Super Cuccos are right now ravaging the state of California. Our expendable reporter, Link, is there now. Link, over to you.

Link: "HEEEEEYYY HEYYYYYYAAHHH!"
Me: No fairy language, speak english.
Link: Oh sorry, well when I first got here I saw this adorable white chicken thing...
Me: Link, that was a super cucco.
Link: OH, that would explain when I hit it three...
Me: Link... You didn't...
Link: Yeah... I did. I am now huddled under the wreckage of some dude's Mansion... OH CRAP! They're here! SAVE ME!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!

Anywoo, our scientists have made the speculation that the cuccos are heading from the West to the east, it is predicted that in a couple days the Super Cuccos will be in Colorado. It has been reported that all of the west coast has been left in complete and utter ruin.


                                                                                                 ~Article by John "Jonny" Smith