EXTRA: Dr. Bessner's New Fluffy Friends

Jonny Smith here folks,

Opening Theme: From Monty Python and the Holy Grail

The Ballad of

Brave Sir Robin

Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Robin!
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways,
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin! He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken;
To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away;
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!

His head smashed in and his heart cut out
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off
And his pen--

Brave Sir Robin ran away.
Bravely ran away, away!
When danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled.
Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about
And gallantly he chickened out.
Bravely taking to his feet
He beat a very brave retreat,
Bravest of the brave, Sir Robin!

He is packing it in and packing it up
And sneaking away and buggering up
And chickening out and pissing off home,
Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge...

 

           Dr. Bessner while investigating tails of, "The Holy Grail," the cup by which Jesus administered the last supper, came across a species of rabbit that greatly interested him, one otherwise like the mighty Cucco.
          Cuccos, being relatively identical, and related, to the harmless chicken (Gallus gallus domesticus), is a sort of black sheep of the family of the fowl. Most other chickens are domesticated and completely harmless, and birds related to them, with the exception of the Cucco, are not dangerous by any means. THE Cucco on the other hand is notoriously dangerous being blamed for such disasters as Windmill fires (amidst shadow beast danger), city destruction and Zant Worshiping. Much like the Cucco is a black sheep of viciousness , Bessner's new discovery is the black sheep of rabbits.

^ Figure 1.2 ^

         "Killer Rabbit" is the unofficial name for the creature, Bessner on the other hand calls it, the "Malus peior pessimus oryctolagus cuniculus" which means "bad, wicked or evil, European rabbit." Bessner discovered its killer potential just before one was killed by the only means known, the holy hand grenade, he first saw the rabbit murdering one of its victims (figure1.2). Upon studying the D.N.A of the holy hand grenade-ed rabbit, Dr. William Bessner Discovered the Malus peior pessimus oryctolagus cuniculus to be an endangered species of rabbit. Little is yet known of Malus peior pessimus oryctolagus cuniculus but Bessner does know that, much like the Cucco, Malus peior pessimus oryctolagus cuniculus has no finite life span and only has one weakness-which has already been used. Bessner is currently in the process of safely breeding the rabbits so that he might study them.
           This leaves many of us with a few questions, does this spell the fate of humanity to die at cute hands? Or does it mean Dictator Brown has gained another dangerous weapon in his arsenal?

 Or perhaps the biggest question....

Which is worse? Death by Cucco, or death by Bunny?